Emotional trauma develops from a wide variety of situations and circumstances. It can come indirectly from losing a loved one abruptly, or it can result from someone's intentional emotional abuse. The need to heal from it doesn't change, however. You will have to take steps to repair your injury, and you'll need tools and metaphoric "first aid" items to do so. These are four elements of healing that you must have to succeed:
Distance
One thing you will need if you want to heal is distance. You might need physical distance, emotional distance, or both, but some level of separation will be necessary for you to begin your recovery. Think of your trauma or heartbreak as an open wound that you have to protect so that it doesn't get infected or irritated while it's sensitive. Each time you contact your ex or the individual who contributed to the trauma, you'll scrape or hit your wound. That's the opposite of what's required to promote healing.
Counseling
Counseling is another element that you will need for your healing. The term "counseling" doesn't always refer to hiring a professional, but that's something you may want to consider doing. Counseling could be the kind and encouraging advice of a trusted friend or guidance from someone who empathizes with your pain and wants you to succeed. It's good to seek comfort in helpful human beings, but it's also necessary to cling to your higher power during this time if you're a person of faith. You can view meditation and prayer as spiritual counseling sessions.
Self-Love
Being kind to yourself, loving yourself, and pampering yourself are three things you'll also need to do if you want your healing to progress. Pampering yourself might include taking yourself to a spa for a massage or going solo to watch your favorite movie. Self-love may consist of daily affirmations and positive "I am" statements. Being kind to yourself means being patient with yourself during your healing process. Avoid beating yourself up if you have uncontrollable memories or wonky moments. You'll likely experience those while you're healing. Go with the flow, but try not to get sucked into those flashbacks. Those occasions will diminish over time.
Positive Activities
This period is when you also need to have a vision, plan, purpose, or focus. Think of something you've always wanted to do, and then set your mind on doing it. Once you put your mind on it, your steps will follow your lead. What you choose to do is a personal choice. You might want to learn an instrument or become more fluent in your first or second language. Maybe you desire to go back to school at a time when naysayers believe you can't learn. Grab hold of your self-confidence and that dream and push forward to achieve your goal.
Check your wellness inventory to verify that you have all the elements necessary to promote and advance your healing. If so, you can move forward with your process with all your heart.